Random Tales from Earth2149
by Epsilon Zeta
Summary: A collection of ministories set in the Marvel Zombies universe. Tale 2: The long road trip home... a dialogue fic with light spoilers for Marvel Zombies 2.
1. A funny thing happened on my way to work

"This is just ludicrous! Jonah, I know that you've accused Spider-Man for being responsible for a lot of things in the past but being the one to trigger all this madness?!"

"This is simply the climax to Spider-Man's hidden agenda!! All these years, he's been building up something and now he's unleashing it on the world. Once this dies down, he steps in and swiftly sets up his own world order with minimal fuss from any possible resistance."

"Just think for a second! Do you honestly think that he's capable of this?"

"Of course he is! He probably played the part of a hero long enough to gain the trust of other legitimate heroes like the Avengers or the Fantastic Four and get access to vital resources! Robbie, you really need to sharpen up those instincts of yours if you're going to make it as my successor."

"Jonah, you seem to have forgotten that we're here to print facts from an objective point of view with minimum bias. When you remember that purpose, then we'll talk."

CLOP

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SLAM!

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BUNG!

"What am I doing? I shouldn't be arguing with Jonah at a time like this. We need to think of some way to help the people. Maybe…"

DING!

"Sorry, folks. I forgot something back there."

"You want us to hold the elevator door for you, Mr. Robertson?"

"You go on ahead. I'll grab another ride later."

DING!

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SQUEEEAK

"Jonah? Look, I'm…"

THWIP!

SLAM!

"What the hell?!?"

THWIP!

"Ooof!!"

MUNCH

MUNCH

"_**How's it going, Robbie? BURP Excuse me.**_"

"Spider-Man?!? Oh my god…"

SQUELCH

GULP

"_**Sheesh… J.J. never really gives anything for fair value, does he?**_"

MUNCH

MUNCH

"_**First, there's how he undervalues some of the pictures I present to him.**_"

MUNCH

SQUELCH

GULP

"_**Then he undervalues other things I bust my butt off for. Even now, his corpse doesn't give a lot of tasty value!! I mean, although Aunt May wasn't exactly a large helping, at least her aged flesh gave my taste buds a unique and tasty experience!**_"

MUNCH

MUNCH

"… Peter?"

"_**No use hiding it anymore, I guess. It's me, Robbie.**_ _**Good old Peter Parker, staff photographer at the Bugle. A funny thing happened to me on the way to work….**_"

My first take at writing a pure dialogue/onomatopoeia fic. I hope it went well.

I will be adding more random tales whenever I have the time and the muse for it.


	2. Road Trip

**Somewhere in the universe…**

"Ninety nine bottles of A'askvarii t'cholard ale on the wall! Ninety nine bottles of A'askvarii t'cholard ale! You take one down; pass it around… ninety eight bottles of-"

"Please, Peter! For the love of God, will you just stop it already?! Nobody here is enjoying your singing!"

"Hulk too hungry to care."

"_I'm just surprised at how easily he can pronounce A'askvarii and t'cholard. Even I need a few seconds to make sure I get the linguistics right."_

"Tony, that wasn't funny."

"_That wasn't meant as a joke, Hank."_

"I don't know about you guys but going on in silence for weeks is no fun at all. I gotta try and think of something to entertain myself since Wolverine's no longer hitting on Dark Phoenix."

"Can it, bub."

"Hahaha!! Man, I still can't believe that you actually managed to sucker Logan into trying to do that in the first place!"

"Luke, please don't raise the subject again."

"Whatever you say, Jean."

"In any case… Peter, you have to realize that this is not the time for your jokes. We need to keep focused so we can find Earth and build that machine to travel to other dimensions. I'm trying to be civil here… I mean, I can probably go on and on about how much of an annoyance you are but I'm holding my tongue because I consider myself as a courteous man. Now I need you to do the same."

"Quick question… how the heck are we able to really focus when the only thing on our mind is food, food and food?"

"Argh!! Just don't talk to me, alright?! Just keep quiet so we can get our bearings!!"

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"So, uh… are we there yet?"


End file.
